#2 - TELL ALL: Not giving a fuck, finally.
So I’m starting a blog.
Yes, another gal thinking she’s got something meaningful to say and something important to
share.. And the first topic I want to talk about is… why give a fuck!?
Well, at least let’s give this a try. I’ve been meaning to write a blog for quite some time now. And just now is as right a time as ever to start.
I’m reading (actually listening to) this book by Marc Manson The Subtle Art Of Not Giving A Fuck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living A Good Life. It says how one should learn not to give as many fucks about little things in life that quite frankly don’t deserve any fucks given. Focus on learning how to live with yourself, ‘warts and all’, rather than try to constantly seek a better situation, be a better person.
It made me think about my own self-discovery, of caring so much for so many things that I’d drown myself in unimportant matters in the end rather than focus on what’s important.
So if you’re like me and you’ve had trouble owning yourself, your shape and size, all those nasty little things that make you you, then I highly recommend this raw, punch in your face yet funny book.
“Let’s be honest, shit is f*cked, and we have to live with it.”
For me, it’s really after having children that I realized I didn’t care anymore, or not as much. Because I’m too busy to care, I have way too much going on to stop and stare. It’s what led me to write my song I Don’t Have Time For This Shit!
With maturity, you realize you don’t have time to give a fuck about so many things and you learn to do only what serves you best, without feeling guilty about it. And that’s what’s led me to start the T-Factor. All those big fucks I was giving to all those little voices inside my head that were telling me my story didn’t matter seem to vanish lately and I’m ready to help other people improve their lives too. But it’s true that it’s very liberating to decide not to care.
I loved listening (yes, Audible is how I roll when I’m shuttling kiddos around or driving out for the week end) to Nasty Gal’s Sophia Amoruso book called #Girlboss. She recounts how she took on the world of ebay with her grungy style and shared her talent with cyberspace. She did it her way and it was the high way. A true inspiration. She didn’t seem to be giving two fucks that she had no idea what she was doing to start or where she was going. Quoting a lyric from one of my songs, she wasn’t “afraid to follow [her] dreams, even if [she’s] too stupid to know”. Blinders on, forward motion. Who cares.
“No matter where you are in life, you’ll save a lot of time by not worrying too much about what other people think about you. The earlier in your life that you can learn that, the easier the rest of it will be.”
I’m much better now at caring less about what I don’t have. Often that was my biggest problem, giving too many fucks about shoulda coulda woulda, to the point where I was paralyzed into action. Trust me, I know how it feels to be overwhelmed to a point of disappointment. But a new wind is blowing, winter is coming (is it in April 2019 at long last HBO?!) and knowing that I can own my time and my work is a game changer. SO much more on that in upcoming Podcasts and Blogs.
As the mega entertainer, kickass crazy singer Erika Jayne simply asks, “How many fucks do I give? None, not one”, she seems to be having quite a good time at it… You can think what you want about her, but she’s owning it, she’s living it and I applaud her for working tirelessly to achieving her goals, no matter what gets thrown at her, kitchen sink and all.
My daughter has recently decided she doesn’t need to be taking showers every day, or wash at all for that matter! So after fighting with her on this for months, I’ve finally decided that she’s in charge of her own body, and if she wants to have BO at 8 years old, then that’s on her. I frankly don’t give a fuck. I do mention to her “It’s time for your bath!” or “remember today is Tuesday, hair day” but then it’s totally up to her to actually do the deed. She’ll go in the bath and just lay there without washing and come out. Or she’ll jump under the shower and splash her privates as a wash… I’m going to let her have it, see how far this shit will go before she needs medical attention. I can’t fight it anymore and I can’t care at this point. I’ve got my own hair to wash which takes time enough.
So go ahead, stop giving a fuck. Share your story, you never know who it will help and affect. Here’s mine.
Hugs plenty,
ML.
Follow me on Instagram or share your not giving a fucks in comments below. Trust me, writing them down is actually super liberating. Go ahead!
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