Last week, I fell asleep at the wheel!
I mean, I fucking fell asleep fucking driving! Returning home after dropping the kids off at school. And in New York City! Where there’s a person on the sidewalk every other meter, a woman pushing a stroller or a cyclist behind you. WTF?!
I am SO ashamed. And so upset at myself. How did I let it come to that? Am I not on a journey of readjustments, creating my own narrative and all that stuff? Haven’t I committed to my renewal, doing yoga as often as I can, learning to connect to my breath, learning to get more organized and prioritize and be a better person?!
This stings, this is a blow.
I’m ashamed that I could have hurt or even killed someone. My life could have changed forever, right then and there.
I woke up as the right side of the car bumped into a few of those plastic orange safety cones of a not-yet-active construction site.
On my rear mirror I saw a cyclist to my right thankfully behind me otherwise I’d have run her over if she was trying to pass me. She did look at me angrily at the red light, as did the arriving construction workers who were probably jumping on the occasion to curse a woman behind the wheel. They didn’t have to, I was cursing myself as I had my apologetic grin on my exhausted face.
I was too tired that morning to even think about what had just happened. All I wanted was to safely arrive at the garage, walk to my apartment and crash all dressed onto the bed. I slept it all off. By evening I felt like myself again, I even managed to go to yoga that day so by then I got to thinking about what in the world had happened.
Where to start??
I’ve become pretty good at having a healthy-ish routine when I’m at home and in control of my schedule. I sleep almost enough, I take care of myself and my time and my family.
But I’m now realizing I have a hell of a lot more work to do to function when it’s the holidays or while traveling. I’m being deeply honest here, I’ve failed (yet again) during this Christmas holiday.
I didn’t apply all the important lessons I’ve learned in the past couple years, the main one being you should take care of yourself first and foremost so that you can be a better mother or wife or optimize your work. And I don’t think I did that during this past holiday and it’s SO frustrating. It feels like I’ve regressed.
Sure, I had bronchitis, laryngitis, sinusitis all the while I was receiving family and friends over for Christmas then traveling on a full-on mommy mode trip (Disney Land + ski). But should I know better by now how to read the signs of enough is enough?
I guess my body just crashed – as I almost did the car! - when I returned back home to NYC.
I pushed and pushed, never got to rest my sick body. I didn’t nurture my body enough, I didn’t nurture my mind enough. Feeling like you don’t have the time and space to rest your mind so you can focus on work is also taxing.
I definitely have a bruised ego and thankfully no scratches on the car.
But today is redemption day.
We’re a couple weeks into 2019 and I have decided my focal points for the year. I don’t want to call them New Year resolutions because that’s so passé. I mean, who does that anymore..
I talk about my passions for this year in my T-Factor Podcast Intro (coming in out in a few days, I promise) so I won’t linger on that here. But definitely check that out when it's out and see if that something that resonates with you.
So, redemption day.
Now that I’m no longer a walking zombie, no more jet-lag from our time in Wyoming over the holidays, not sick as a dog anymore as I was for the past month. What am I to do with being so TIRED already this New Year?
No, I’m not going on a diet and no, I’m not planning on drinking more (yes, you see, I have the reverse problem, I hate wine unfortunately – feeling I’m completely missing out on certain joys in life), and no I’m not stopping drinking matcha, I’m not you know who.. GP?
But I know I can get myself back on track by watching what I eat, find my energy back being more careful with my vitamins (I never take any supplements, perhaps it’s time?) and most importantly, sleep more.
I’m dying to do the Goop January cleanse… I am diving into Paltrow’s new cooking book The Clean Plate. I’m not sure I’m going to do the whole cleanse this month but it’s a little check list I’m willing to make to clean my habits and reconnect with myself this month. All that planning and cooking and shopping makes me nervous. I have a blog to run, damn it!
I’m simply not ready, time wise and mind wise, for a full on one month cleanse.
But I can’t wait to try her different Tacos, I’m doing those this week. I’m such a Tacos lover, I could eat Mexican food almost every day, mixed in with some Vietnamese food and I’d be in culinary heaven.
With the kids back at school, I can press the reset button and share all this good info with you.
A great source of pumped up energy and positive reinforcement comes for me by listening to this wonderful Podcast Style Your Mind by Cara Alwill Leyba. She create the Champagne Diet which means exactly what it says. She's a master life coach and author with some actionable guidebooks for any woman who wants to create a life of purpose, celebrate themselves and give happiness a priority. She's all about living a Champagne life (meaning not a diet coke kinda life!), owning yourself and your aspirations and elevate your life and tap into your true potential. Love that stuff!
She’s helped me zero-in on my goals and stop being in my head so much. I definitely recommend her world if you’re in search of motivation, inspiration and an all-around boost to your ego and boot to your derriere..
And what i love about hitting the reset button when i'm back in NYC is to go back to the chore basics.
Back to my yoga routine, back to my health regimen. Yoga has changed my life since i started 7 years ago and i haven't looked back ever since. I was always one of those who thought yoga was boring, not a real sport, blablabla, but that was truly a mistake. So do yourself a favor, start now. Go do it if you're not already. And if you are, go do it some more. You can never do too much yoga. It can only do you good and bring you to a place of openness in your body and mind without traveling or doing drugs.
I do Hot Yoga at Hilaria Baldwin’s Yoga Vida which is the best studio I’ve found so far. Classes are only $18, it’s super duper clean, and the teachers are really good and passionate.
And of course SLT, huge fan of this work out. It's radical. You can actually tell the difference in your body if you go once, twice or three times a week!
I’m also returning to fake-fasting with my morning smoothies, the color of the rainbow. I say a fake-fast because I read everywhere that fasting 16hrs a day is super good for you. But who am I kidding, I wouldn’t last until 1pm without … crashing my car?!
So I fake it, with a massive, thick smoothie!!
What do they say, fake it ‘til you make it!?
My next morning routine is adding The Ultimate Elixir by Live Ultimate. It’s still part of the fake because it’s only a drink, not real food! My brother and my father swear by this super food powder. My brother used to get sick all the time, always a sinus infection, always something going on, and he lives in Miami!! And my dad used to always get sick while traveling. They both haven’t had a major cold since starting that regimen, touch wood, two years ago.
This super-green powder is packed with alkalizing nutrients that help you balance your PH in you body. It's similar to Elle McPherson’s Elixir powder at Wellco but I prefer the taste of Ultimate Elixir. And if it promises me to look like her, I’ll iv it in my arm any time!
In the end, we have all the ingredients to create a healthy, happy life for ourselves. It’s a matter of knowing what to use at the right time and not loosing track of what works for you, no matter the circumstances, routine or holiday or travel or whatever.
Of course, we all need to let life get in the way, there are always adjustments that need to be made. But I’ve come to realize it’s unforgivable to let oneself go to a point of falling asleep behind the wheel.
So nurture yourself and find your motivation to be the best person you can be. I know I want to be so much better in everything that I do. And it’s a great relief to know there’s so much room to grow.
I would love to read about your routine to keep your mind alert, your body strong and how/if you recognize your signs of burn-out. As I always say, share the wealth.
Comment below or send me a DM on my instagram. I can't wait to learn from you too. And stay tuned for the T-Factor Podcast where i'll be talking to Talented and Tenacious people who are ouT of the norm. Yes, all T's.
Sending you much love and wishing you a smashing year.