#17 TAKING BACK OWNERSHIP OF LIFE – with setbacks


Ok, so here’s the deal.

I have been slacking. Or been disorganized or mismanaged my T-Factor launch, probably all of the above. Yes, in this year of self-proclaimed empowerment with taking back ownership of my life and actions, I’ve had a set-back.


One of the reasons I have been missing in action for the past two weeks is actually funny. At least that’s how I see it.

The hardest thing for me right now is to have all the blog posts and podcast posts ready WAY in advance, like 6 weeks at least. Well, that hasn’t been happening. So each week I post something new, it’s actually fresh out of the can. Perhaps that’s the way I like it and put out good stuff, I don’t know yet, but, it’s exhausting and can’t last.

The school’s spring break came and my family and I went to Lebanon to visit their dad’s side of the family in Beirut. I knew internet connection would be so-so. This is a country where electricity shortages happen several times a day. And I knew I’d have very little time in front of the computer given that I’d be with the kids most of the time. So I had to be sharp and quick when working. But, I never would have imagined the situation where the back end of my website would be BANNED. No access to Wix, which is the platform I use to create this website.

What did I do!? Me on the bed in Beirut, freaking out



And here’s the reason I found on Lebanese Google, translated from Arabic with google translate:


“This site was blocked on the basis of the decision of the relevant administrative authorities based on the the provisions of the law of boycotting Israel”.






WTF?!?

Say what what?

At that moment, my heart was pounding! For half a second, I thought Israel erased my website! I mean, Israel doesn’t like tall people!?

Then I thought they were after me now, or worse yet, Hezbollah saw I tried to access Wix and were going to find me. I freaked out!

Once I realized my website still existed, I did some research and apparently, the Lebanese government decided starting January 2019, Wix would be banned given that it’s an Israeli Cloud server based in Israel, a country Lebanon is officially/unofficially at war with. That has affected around 10,000 Lebanese websites that were created on Wix.

I felt very small (yes that’s possible), powerless and annoyed I was still not ready weeks ahead of time. That’s when I decided things will have to change when I get back to NYC, to work smarter.

But until then, I decided I’m not in the mood to fight with Israel, or the Lebanese digital police. Apparently there are ways you can deceive the server to show you’re not in the country you’re in, but that’s for watching videos on Prime or Netflix, not for outsmarting those trouble-makers. I decided to close shop for a couple weeks, enjoy the fam and gather ideas for much more to come. I enjoyed my time over there, I’ll be posting my first TRAVEL blog post soon.


Back in NYC, after the 20 hour journey back home and the mandatory stomach virus I brought back with me which stuck me in bed for 2 days, I’m back baby.

I needed a big kick to my derriere, not only to get the juices flowing again but also to get the desire going again. When you’re away from what you love doing for so long, it’s hard not to feel upset at the time lost and the missed opportunities. I’m learning to let go of negative thoughts, thankfully they only hula from time to time rather than rule my world.


The first email I saw opening my computer back in NYC was Angie Lee’s email (of course a mass email but I feel it was directed to me and sent to me exactly when I needed :-), the best first email I could have received after putting my phone down for a forced hiatus. She’s a great girl (yes, she’s a young one) to follow to teach you to take chances, change your narrative and just go for it. Her podcast Angie Lee Show is a nice mix of Life Coaching, Social Marketing with step by step approaches and best practices to getting your shit together in internet land and influencer lingo.


Then I went for one of those gel manicures that take forever. I mean, I do have my priorities straight. Which is great because that’s the only real time I get to pause and watch something, albeit on my phone which isn’t fun but better than nothing. It’s been Marie Kondo lately or stand-up comedy shows, but this time it was Beyonce’s Homecoming on Netflix. Gee, her performance is of course phenomenal. But I really enjoyed her willingness to show the effort, the face without makeup at rehearsals, the grind and the sweat. And what truly touched me is seeing her work so hard to get back in shape after giving birth to twins and still breastfeeding them at the beginning of rehearsals last year’s for the Coachella Festival, which the video is all about. I know what it’s like to have a tough pregnancy with twins, to have an emergency c-section delivery, to go through the roller-coaster of breastfeeding and taking care of an older child. And watching her do it while preparing for this big comeback knowing what she went through is so inspiring. And she’s not afraid to share her vulnerability and to showcase others in their beauty.

“I wanted every person that has ever been dismissed because of the way they look to feel like they were on that stage killing it.” - Beyonce in Homecoming.

We’re so lucky to be living in her world, we bow down Bitches with full consent. My manicure was all the more worth it as I got transported to a place of endless possibilities.

Ok my luvs, I hope you enjoy my weekly Thoughts. I love to share all the little goodie things that make a difference in my world, big and small, and I hope in yours.


Until next time,

ML.

© 2020 by MarieLine.